Placing energy on relationships – both friendships and primary relationships – is an investment. Worldwide studies over several decades reveal that the quality of our relationships is one of the most reliable predictors of our overall well-being.
The grass isn’t greener on the “other side.” It’s greener where you water it.
A complaint is the antithesis of gratitude. It’s an inherent way of saying: reality is what it is, but it SHOULDN’T be!
Which makes as much sense as being in the freezing cold and saying: it shouldn’t be cold.
You can take good care of others while still taking good care of yourself. There are plenty of compassionate, helpful, nondestructive ways to keep others warm without letting yourself on fire.
Take it from a lifelong codependent.
Pros and cons lists can be helpful when assessing what to do, but they can also lead down a very unhelpful path of over analyzing. One shortcut that can help quickly identify how you really feel is to give multiple scenarios 1-10 ratings, but remove 7 as an option.
This simple hack forces more meaningful choices, because a 6 rating is a step away from a failing grade, while an 8 rating is almost a B+. In a this-or-that scenario the answer will be clear, and in go/no-go scenario, it’s the difference between “hell yes” and “hell no.”
Sometimes it’s more valuable (and human) to let persuasion take a back seat to empathy. Instead of trying to persuade someone of your point of view, first try sincere curiosity about how they see things.
As a bonus, seeking to understand before being understood increases the likelihood that we will be able to persuade anyways.
Dependability is a high-ranking “soft skill” that employers, colleagues and customers desire.
When it comes to your career, there are many worthwhile investments you can make to sharpen the saw of your particular expertise. On top of this, try to cultivate a reputation for being dependable. People want to know that they can count on you, and that your word is reliable.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that so-called soft skills are not trainable. All of them are. For this particular skill, all you have to do is make sure you always do what you say.
It’s healthy to have desires, goals, and hopes for better versions of the future. But so often we fall victim to as-soon-as syndrome, making our desires much like contracts we make with ourselves to be unhappy until we get what we want.
Defining and striving for things in line with our desires is essential. Just be sure you’re not trading a possible future for an unmistakable now.
My music has received over 50 million streams and downloads, hundreds 5-star ratings, and the kindest reviews and compliments. Yet I can recite verbatim the ruthless critique of my voice from an anonymous user 10 years ago. A decade-old review from one person.
This is negativity bias in action. We’re all susceptible to it. We too quickly forget the praise we receive and tend to highlight the cynical people and opinions.
I keep an email folder called “inspiration” where I file the kind words I’ve received from people who clearly value what I do. It helps to keep a reminder that most of the time you’re doing a stellar job.
Life has ups and downs. Where you are right now, and how you feel about it, is much like a balance sheet. It’s just a snapshot of your emotional assets and liabilities for a moment in time.
The most important thing to remember is that where you are right now (physically, financially, emotionally) does not reflect what you are.