The story of how you’ve overcome your own challenges could become a catalyst for others to reconsider their perspectives, make positive changes, and possibly act as a survival guide for strangers you may never meet.
Share your success stories. It’s a sure way to improve your own happiness – and with luck, that of others as well.
Tag: inspirational
“Shoulds” and “Musts”
We all have a list of things we tell ourselves we “should” do. The thing is, what we should do never happens. What we do are the things we “must” do.
Willpower is short-lived and over-rated. Intrinsic motivation driven by the desire to grow is not.
If you find you’re continually telling yourself that you should do something, either change it to a “must” or stop talking about it.
Attracting what you want to attract
If you believe in the so-called Law of Attraction, then you believe that you attract whatever your dominant thoughts are. This is difficult since we don’t consciously know our dominant thoughts. They happen below the level of conscious thought.
The first step in attracting the desired things, people, and events in our lives is taking inventory of invisible scripts. Things like: “I’m not worthy of…,” “I’m not very good at…” and turning them into scripts that serve you, like: “I deserve to be happy,” and “I learn quickly.”
Changing our dialogue is difficult when our energy is focused on what’s wrong. Life improves when we focus on, believe in, and conjure up the way we want to “feel” when the improvement is made. The same law works against us when we focus on and feel the thing(s) we’re unhappy about.
Respecting introverts
In her moving Ted Talk, Susan Cain outlines how social interactions by default tend to be structured by and for extroverts and why it’s important to respect and value the many introverts.
A humble brag about my sister, who initiated new “normal” activities for elementary school children who felt left out at recess for not embracing sports as their mode of play. Now, groups of people can work on art, read, or do other activities of their choice, either in relative isolation or quietly within a group.
We should know by now that leveraging people’s natural strengths and preferences produces more creativity, motivation, and, best of all, more fulfilled humans.
More important than talent
Our society praises talented people, but there’s an attribute even more valuable for making progress, personally, professionally, and as a society: an attitude of determination.
As Paul Graham points out: “One sign that determination matters more than talent: there are lots of talented people who never achieve anything, but not that many determined people who don’t.”
On leaders, coaches and teachers.
It’s common to hear people brag about the expertise of their teachers/coaches, but the real way to evaluate the effectiveness of teachers and coaches is by assessing the skill of their students or mentees.
The best teachers show you where to look but don’t tell you what to see.
If you’re in a leadership role, make sure you create the conditions that allow people to flourish. The best way to do that is to produce an environment where the learning reveals itself.
Improving for future generations
Most people spend their lives being dutiful descendants instead of remarkable ancestors. Each generation has the choice to aim to please their predecessors or improve things for their offspring. Many people who were the most positive influences on humanity did not blindly follow in their parent’s footsteps.
In the words of Japanese poet, Matsuo Basho: “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the old. Seek what they sought.”
You can strive to make previous generations proud, or endeavor to make the world better for the next.
Making others look good or bad
As appealing and status-raising as it may seem, you will never look good for making someone else look bad. The opposite is also true.
Incidentally, one of the most flattering ways to compliment someone is by saying sincere, favorable things about them to other people.
Exceptional people…
Care more than most think is wise.
Risk more than most think is safe.
Dream more than most think is practical.
Expect more than most believe is possible.
Make the news!
Most of the media we’re exposed to in a 24-hour news cycle is not positive. Everyone knows that fueling outrage will obtain far more clicks than the human interest story of a stranger who did something kind for one of her 7 billion neighbors.
Because negative news is more pervasive, it’s easy to think that destructive things and people are the norm.
You probably won’t make the news by doing kind things for strangers with no regard for what they may get in return, but you will help instill faith in humanity and cancel out some of the damaging behavior of others.