Complimenting someone and adding WHY you feel that way makes a huge impact.
Consider the difference between: “I really admire you” and…“I really admire how you listen to people with empathy and intent to understand and connect. That’s a rare and valuable trait.”
The story of how you’ve overcome your own challenges could become a catalyst for others to reconsider their perspectives, make positive changes, and possibly act as a survival guide for strangers you may never meet.
Share your success stories. It’s a sure way to improve your own happiness – and with luck, that of others as well.
Writing exposes unclear thinking and helps us organize our most sincere beliefs.
Although everything I’ve written has likely been said before, occasionally, my words resonate with people in a positive, life-changing way.
Whether you write/journal for yourself or others, knowing there is a high potential for intrinsic self-motivation is helpful. And as a bonus, we may provide inspiration for others.
Sometimes we fail to implement helpful advice only because it seems simple and obvious.
Things that are simple to do are also just as simple not to do. But that’s not a good excuse. There’s a truth here begging to be stated out loud: knowing and not doing is the same as not knowing.
We all have a list of things we tell ourselves we “should” do. The thing is, what we should do never happens. What we do are the things we “must” do.
Willpower is short-lived and over-rated. Intrinsic motivation driven by the desire to grow is not.
If you find you’re continually telling yourself that you should do something, either change it to a “must” or stop talking about it.
A complaint is the antithesis of gratitude. It’s an inherent way of saying: reality is what it is, but it SHOULDN’T be!
Which makes as much sense as being in the freezing cold and saying: it shouldn’t be cold.
If you believe in the so-called Law of Attraction, then you believe that you attract whatever your dominant thoughts are. This is difficult since we don’t consciously know our dominant thoughts. They happen below the level of conscious thought.
The first step in attracting the desired things, people, and events in our lives is taking inventory of invisible scripts. Things like: “I’m not worthy of…,” “I’m not very good at…” and turning them into scripts that serve you, like: “I deserve to be happy,” and “I learn quickly.”
Changing our dialogue is difficult when our energy is focused on what’s wrong. Life improves when we focus on, believe in, and conjure up the way we want to “feel” when the improvement is made. The same law works against us when we focus on and feel the thing(s) we’re unhappy about.
Once you know the fundamentals of a sport or craft, you’ll need competitive partners in 3 categories: those that are better than you, those that challenge you, and those you’re better than.
You’ll be forced to up your game and constantly strive by training with better people than you. You’ll reinforce your skill set by challenging yourself with those at your level. And you’ll be able to teach those you’re better than. And teaching reinforces your learning more than anything else.
You can take good care of others while still taking good care of yourself. There are plenty of compassionate, helpful, nondestructive ways to keep others warm without letting yourself on fire.
Take it from a lifelong codependent.
After years of studying experts and practicing mindfulness meditation, I’ve synthesized some of the wisdom into a few sentences that make it simpler, more understandable, and (I hope) more approachable to those who may be interested but still confused.
- Mindfulness is simply observing “what it’s like to be you” in this moment.
- The “you” that is observing thoughts arise is not enhanced by positive thoughts or diminished by negative ones.
- The true goal is to allow all conscious experiences (in the form of thoughts) to arise without being reactive or judgmental, which builds the muscle allowing us to treat all life events in a non-reactive way.
- One way to view thoughts is like the weather. We like to think we are the proximate cause of our thoughts, but we’re not. Like the weather, we don’t have much control over them. But we can choose to react, judge, or simply observe what “is.”