On communicating better

Unless it’s a revelation for you that “communication is the key” to relationships of any kind, it’s not useful without context on how to communicate in a healthy way.

Here are details on just a few things I’ve learned from my personal communication failures:

  • Fear of consequences or aversion to uncomfortable conversations has led to worse consequences than the discomfort I thought I was protecting (one of my most glaring deficiencies).
  • Body language, tone, and attitude (HOW you say what you say) are as important as the message itself (WHAT you say).
  • A conversation at a time when one or both parties are not the best versions of themselves could be the difference between understanding/growth and a relationship-damaging outcome
  • l must be able to articulate your argument or feelings in a way that makes you feel heard. If I don’t,  you’re not ready to hear what I have to say.  The reverse is also true.

Changing the give-to-get ratio

Gary Vaynerchuck has an insightful book called “Jab, jab, jab, right hook”, the premise of which is to engage your audience/fans/clients by giving three times before asking or requesting anything. Josh Spector has a creative idea challenging us to make one out of every three social media posts highlight and praise other people.

Imagine a world where the ratio was skewed more in favor of “how can I elevate and support you?” than “what can you do for me?”

You 2.0

It’s a useful analogy to equate uses of our attention to using apps or software. There are bugs to fix with each new upgrade, and enough introspection reveals that we’ve been running some old programs that may have been appropriate at one time, but have outlived their usefulness.

The thought of new software or an update to existing software makes all of us nervous, as we know there will be changes we’ll have to get used to.

You should occasionally reflect on your uses of time and energy, and make sure you’re running programs that improve your personal operating system, and aren’t just running because they’ve always been.

10x greater

Growth can be either linear or exponential.  What happens when we set our sights on10x rather than a 10% sales increase?

For one thing, you will imagine possibilities that you never would otherwise.  To grow sales you might think of hiring a salesperson or adding a new campaign or promo.  To multiply sales you might think of partnering with or even acquiring a competitor.

Whether you reach the goal or not, you’re thinking anyway, so you may as well think big.  After all, the one driven to be the world’s first trillionaire may never hit that number, but is virtually guaranteed to make an enormous amount of money.