This year I will improve the quality of my life by:
- Starting to, or continuing to do more of…
- Stopping, or doing less of…
- Spending 5 minutes each month/quarter assessing how I’ve done
This year I will improve the quality of my life by:
Anchoring or focalism is a cognitive bias that describes the common human tendency to rely too heavily on the first piece of information offered (the “anchor”) when making decisions. During decision-making, anchoring occurs when individuals use an initial piece of information to make subsequent judgments.
How to use: be mindful of the FIRST thing you say/do when meeting someone, in job interviews, in sales pitches, etc.
“I’m Steve and I’m sometimes hard to get along with but I love all people” can be effectively heard as “I’m sometimes hard to get along with blah blah blah.”
Something “bad” happens. A metaphorical fire has started. As humans, we have the ability to choose how/if we react.
So the question is: will you respond with gasoline or water? A useful heuristic for children and adults alike.
Gary Vaynerchuck has an insightful book called “Jab, jab, jab, right hook”, the premise of which is to engage your audience/fans/clients by giving three times before asking or requesting anything. Josh Spector has a creative idea challenging us to make one out of every three social media posts highlight and praise other people.
Imagine a world where the ratio was skewed more in favor of “how can I elevate and support you?” than “what can you do for me?”
It’s common to hear people brag about the expertise of their teachers/coaches, but the real way to evaluate the effectiveness of teachers and coaches is by assessing the skill of their students or mentees.
The best teachers show you where to look but don’t tell you what to see.
If you’re in a leadership role, make sure you create the conditions that allow people to flourish. The best way to do that is to produce an environment where the learning reveals itself.
Most people spend their lives being dutiful descendants instead of remarkable ancestors. Each generation has the choice to aim to please their predecessors or improve things for their offspring. Many people who were the most positive influences on humanity did not blindly follow in their parent’s footsteps.
In the words of Japanese poet, Matsuo Basho: “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the old. Seek what they sought.”
You can strive to make previous generations proud, or endeavor to make the world better for the next.
As I read through business contracts, health care benefits explanations, and even news stories, I wonder if there’s a way to adopt a concept that seeks to radically simplify what is being presented, perhaps in a way that any could quickly comprehend the most honest yet consequential portion of what we’re explaining.
TLDR; Let’s use as few words as possible to convey information responsibly and with (radical) simplicity.
As appealing and status-raising as it may seem, you will never look good for making someone else look bad. The opposite is also true.
Incidentally, one of the most flattering ways to compliment someone is by saying sincere, favorable things about them to other people.
AVOID SAYING “BUT” – “You did great work, but…” immediately cancels the compliment. Better to change it to: “You did great work, AND here’s what we can improve for next time…”
EASE UP ON SUPERLATIVES – Describing everything as “extremely”, “remarkably” or “epic” takes away from the things that actually deserve those adjectives.
CONFIDENT SPEAKING HACK – If you are asked what you want for dinner, don’t say “I don’t know…I’m craving pizza.” You come across as a more confident, assertive person (not aggressive), to simply state what you want. Especially since you DO know.
A great Software Engineer could be five times more efficient and effective than an average developer with the same years of experience. Deciding who is the best fit for a job using arbitrary requirements like “years of experience” is an attempt to commoditize human performance.
Although it’s harder to measure, try having a dialogue with those you consider hiring by discussing their capability and motivation to do the job, based on their relevant accomplishments and interests, not their education, years, or any other metric that doesn’t predict performance.