Hanlon’s razor asserts that we should not attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by incompetence or other means.
Most conspiracy theories are implausible, and turn out not to be an effective cover-up by an elaborate network of mustache-twirling psychopaths bent on world domination. Most people who cut in line or are rude and offensive are not malicious and singling you out. Neglect, self-absorption, and misunderstanding are more likely culprits.
Of course malevolent and cruel people exist, but Hanlon’s razor reminds us not to take things personally. It’s almost never personal anyways.
Scott Adams (Dilbert creator) probably isn’t the world’s best illustrator, and he certainly isn’t the best comic. But combining or “stacking” these two skills gave him a unique mix of attributes.
The moment someone can ask “what’s the going rate for…?” you find yourself engaged in a race to the bottom (the kind of race you don’t want to win). As an employee, consultant, business owner, or product maker, you can escape the lowest-price-wins race, and ship the best version of your product (or yourself) if you forget about being the best, and focus on being the only.
There’s no one on earth like you.
Famed Navy SEAL and leadership expert Jocko Willink has the habit of replying to colleagues or friends that approach him with major issues by saying: “Good! A chance to grow.”
The following question is probably equal parts difficult, necessary, and profound: What if we could face adversity and ask ‘why is this happening for me’ rather than ‘why is this happening to me?’
Consider the difference between losing a friend to a drunk driving accident and losing a friend to cancer. Same outcome, yet we somehow feel less devastated when we can direct our anger towards something (drunk drivers), versus towards a disease we don’t understand.
Though a powerful anti-depressant, anger is a short-term and unhealthy alternative to working through suffering.
It’s possible to overcome and even be motivated by adversity. The choice is to process grief by accepting what “is”, or to carry blame, animosity, and the repetitive story of what “should be”, and why you deserve to stay angry.
Leverage means investing in activities that provide a disproportionate return. Get your short list right, and free up mental capacity to focus on what matters. A few examples for me are:
– Reinforcing discipline (in multiple areas)
– Human connection
– Not watching the news
– Not stressing over what others say or think of me
We guard our money, property and identities from people who might steal, exploit, or take advantage of us. But we commonly allow others to seize our truly non-renewable resources: time and attention. (And time has little value without attention.)
Guard your valuables. And include attention as among the most precious.
Everyone endures some measure of suffering. Past or present, chronic or acute. Perhaps you believe your suffering is more justified than others’, or that you could manage their challenges better than they do. But you don’t know what it’s like to be anyone else.
Knowing this is cause for compassion: remind yourself often that everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Their battles are very real to them.