Consider the difference between losing a friend to a drunk driving accident and losing a friend to cancer. Same outcome, yet we somehow feel less devastated when we can direct our anger towards something (drunk drivers), versus towards a disease we don’t understand.
Though a powerful anti-depressant, anger is a short-term and unhealthy alternative to working through suffering.
It’s possible to overcome and even be motivated by adversity. The choice is to process grief by accepting what “is”, or to carry blame, animosity, and the repetitive story of what “should be”, and why you deserve to stay angry.