A psychology study in a prison revealed that about 90% of those incarcerated were told by their parents that they would end up in jail.
Guilt comes from remorse for something we’ve done. Shame appears when we believe we ARE “bad”. This is the difference between thinking you did a bad thing and believing you are a bad thing.
The distinction between admonishing a child’s behavior, versus equating bad behavior with their identity may be the difference between raising a respectable human and a criminal. Same truth applies to adults. Let’s be careful how we talk to one another, and how we talk to ourselves.