One strange problem is the irrational human belief that we shouldn’t have any. Not only “should” we, but it’s almost impossible to make any significant growth without them. Be grateful for them and use them, don’t curse them.
Ask “What’s great about this?”, “How will I use this?” or “How will I handle this next time?”. Never ask “Why does this always happen to me?” or similar questions, where even the subliminal answers are destructive.
Ryan Haliday explores this concept in depth in his incredible book: “The Obstacle is the Way” with dozens of examples of those who created amazing lives for themselves and others because of the problems they faced, not in spite of them.
“If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” – Frank A. Smith