What will they think of me?

When we’re young and immature we stress over what people think of us.
With a bit more experience we worry less about what people think of us.
And the most evolved and wisest recognize that we greatly over-estimate how much and how often people are thinking of us in the first place, and carry on being the best we can be.

Exaggerating your way to death

“This company sucks” usually means: my boss or the two people I work with most are difficult.  It’s not the actual company and its 10,000 employees.  Similarly, “everyone judges me” usually means just a couple people are being critical or judgmental.

If we zero in on the issues and the actual people involved, the problem is less daunting, and we can make simple changes.

Exaggerating is a lazy way to pretend you have no control of a problem.  As hard as things may seem sometimes, it’s doubtful that “everyone” is against you.


Why to eliminate “should” and “shouldn’t”

Kids should behave.
Traffic shouldn’t be this bad.
I should work out.
I shouldn’t marry someone who’s a different ethnicity.

If you have control over these things, then you’re making choices based on “what will they think of me.”  If you have zero control over these things then you’re both delusional and unproductive by refusing to accept what IS.

Neither one serves you.  You should (oops:) eliminate these words from your vocabulary.

To Build or Destroy

There are two ways to have the tallest building in town:

1) Work your ass off, gain trust and cooperation of others, and build the tallest building
2) Blow up every other building

The default for some people unfortunately is the simpler, short-lived method that takes little talent or effort.