It is said that depression is an obsession with the past, and anxiety is an obsession with the future.
Just as darkness and light cannot possibly coexist, it is impossible to be tormented by the past or anxious about the future while simultaneously feeling TRULY grateful.
The quality of our lives is directly affected by how we assign meaning to everything that occurs. Two people can experience the same event but assign wildly different meanings.
Victor Frankl’s book “man’s search for meaning” shows how one incredible human being assigned meaning to considerable suffering, and transformed his life as well as the lives of others.
Modern psychology exposes unintended negative effects of telling our kids they’re “good” or “perfect” because of specific accomplishments.
When we associate results with who people “are”, we hold them to a standard. “You’re a smart kid because you got good grades” equals “You’re not smart if you don’t get good grades.”
Long term, we bring out the very best in people when we reward effort over attributes.
Commercial airlines instruct us to secure our own oxygen masks before helping others in emergencies, because if we pass out while helping someone else we’re both in danger. Even the biggest “caretakers” among us can’t help as many people if we sacrifice all our health, money, and other resources for others.
Consider the difference between an unhealthy, depressed, sleep-deprived, financially unstable mother, and a healthy, happy, financially-secure one.
One is demonstrating what a healthy adult looks like, while the other is essentially securing her child’s oxygen mask at risk to both of them.