Show or Tell

You build trust by consistently demonstrating that you are trustworthy, not by repeatedly telling people how honest you are.

Those of us “nice” people who tend towards giving the benefit of the doubt will eventually learn to evaluate behavior over words.  And when we do you better walk the talk.

Toxins and Psychological Sunshine

Restaurants stringently guard against food poisoning.  Parents are vigilant to ensure children’s toys are toxin-free.

Our surroundings, including the people with whom we surround ourselves at work, at home and at play, are toxins or sunshine, slowly hurting or helping.

Guard your psychological sunshine like you guard against any other toxins.  You are the average of the 5 people you associate with most.

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Life Lessons

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is often compared to chess – granted more painful.  Here are a few of many lessons that apply to business and life from years of being an intermediate practitioner:

  1. When negotiating a difficult situation be mindful of and react to what actually “is”, instead of forcing what you want.
  2. Not everything that happens deserves a reaction or response.  Advanced operators know which battles are worth the energy.
  3. If something you’re doing isn’t working, take inventory and utilize anything you’ve gained to try something else.
  4. Sometimes the best option is taking a step back to take multiple steps forward.
  5. It doesn’t matter what you know.  It matters what you can do under pressure.

Shout out to Angelo Popofski, Brandon McDaniels, Josh Bagalay, Erik Paulson, Matt Thornton, and dozens of others who’ve led me.

Unhappiness and what to do about it

Most modern, first world unhappiness is caused by an unreasonable attachment to things going our way.

We know intellectually that not everyone will agree with or even like us.  We know more “stuff” will not make us happier.  And we’ve been told since childhood that life’s not always fair.  As always, knowing is never enough.

You’re not unhappy because there’s heavy traffic.  You’re unhappy because you think there shouldn’t be.  Or there shouldn’t be today.  Or on this road.  Or for you.

Ridding yourself of most unhappiness starts with acknowledging how unreasonable it is to expect things will always go your way and just being at peace with what’s actually happening.